He’s grayer in the scruff around his face and I’ve got more wrinkles around my eyes. He’s more settled in his calling and purpose and I’m reigniting passions I had long, long ago. He coaches and guides and I empathize and comfort. 

We’ve been married 22 years today. It feels both like forever and yesterday. I swear these fresh-faced, naive young people just met and flirted with each other in a way that was so cringe, as the kids would say. Yet somehow two entire decades have passed and while we’re a little more worn and weathered, we’re a lot less naive and fickle, more mature and measured. 

I have no real wisdom to share on how to do marriage. It’s trial-by-fire; choosing again, every single morning, to honor and cherish and trust and love. It’s deciding before entering rough waters that you’ll keep paddling and stay in the boat no matter what. It’s making your mind up to believe the best about your partner, even if your feelings get hurt. It’s trusting God to work in you and in them, individually and together, season-by-season, day-by-day. 

Mostly it’s realizing another person will never fill the Jesus-sized hole in your heart. That’s not their job, they’re ill-equipped, they aren’t made for that. That takes a whole lot of pressure off of them. And you. Thank goodness. 

I’m grateful that 22 years later, I’ve witnessed the faithfulness of God again and again. I’ve seen Him answer prayers and remain silent, surprise us and let us work things out, direct us and let us make our own choices. But His presence has remained, gone before us, walked beside us, chased behind us. We can only do this because He is with us. Thank goodness. 

Happy Anniversary, Greg Steely. Here’s to growing older and wiser and grayer together for another 22 years, at least. By the grace of God. 

I ♥️ you.